When Your Teacher Job Becomes a NIGHTMARE!

Open Letter to My Fellow Teacher Colleagues.

Hello Fellow Teachers:

Are you having a hard time - with your supervisors, colleagues, students, families, your new overseas community here? Do you feel like one or some or all of these are conspiring to bring you down. Maybe you feel that it’s not them, but YOU! Self-doubt, self-loathing or worse… creeps in. At such times, you feel alone, vulnerable, and think there’s no one to turn to. 

If it helps, here’s my story: I was a life skills special ed teacher just beginning my first year in a new school district working at the high school. As such, I was on probation which was already pressure enough. The heat was on and I wanted to do my best. I enjoyed my job - I loved the students, I had a great team of classroom staff, our special ed team was close-knit, and I had established good rapport with the students’ families. 

The one person I had not reached was my principal, Mr. Jolly (not his real surname and hardly his disposition). I can’t say I was the only target of his disaffection. His management style was that progress is born from finding fault and cutting down. He said that not feeling like we were getting ahead would make us strive further. Forge ahead, if you will. That’s how he intended to lead his staff.

Leadership style and philosophy aside, that wasn't the worst of it. Somehow, and I’ll get to that, I incurred his “wrath”. It wasn’t because of what I did or failed to do. Apparently, my doing my job (well) soured him against me. I won’t claim to be the greatest teacher ever, but I loved that particular position. 

Oddly enough, I thought he was happy with my performance thus far that year. Then it happened. I had my evaluation with Mr. Jolly. Honestly, and I guess foolishly, I thought I was in for a good review. Rude awakening though, it felt like a brutal ambush. In sum, here’s the review I got that fateful day in his office: I wasn’t good enough; I was enough of a team player, and it was best for me to quit - or else he would come after my teaching credential! He even had my resignation letter drafted. 

Not knowing what to do, I signed it and at the next Board meeting my name figured among on the list a resignee effective the next month or so. I was devastated. I felt alone and in a free fall. If you’ve been in a similar situation or are going through it now, you can probably figure out how horrible I felt without me going on in detail. 

In that dark time, I started getting texts from my former special ed director. She wanted to know what in the world happened. I was still so beside myself, but knowing both me and Mr. Jolly, she knew what went down. The next day, the superintendent himself showed up at my classroom. He asked to hear my side of the story. Long story short, my resignation was rescinded and I got reassigned to another site. It still brings tears to my eyes. Tears of gratitude still moisten my eyes a little remembering how she and others came out of the woodwork to support me at that time. 

Why did I even get into that predicament? As it turns out, I wasn’t the principal’s choice for that position. The former special ed director hired me for that position and had opted not to rehire his candidate. For that, and what I can only surmise, making him look good for doing my job, he had it out for me. I found out about that later on, but it didn't matter. Given the outcome, I was happy I could finish the year off elsewhere. 

I don’t know if anyone will find any of this helpful or whatnot. I’ll admit that I was fortunate. When I thought it was over, some good people came to my aid and vouched for me. If you’re in a similar pickle. Consider your options. If you’re not welcome or feeling you fit in, then move onto a bigger and better job if you can. A setback is not a failure and may even be a set up!

Anyway, if there’s a lesson in any of it, and a hint of encouragement, then that has been enough! Please hang in there! Having been there I”m truly rooting for you!!!